Hi

Hello again.

I really enjoy my days off.  I work three days a week and I am exhausted.  Last night I realized that I work fewer days than I have off in a week.  That seemed impossible!  I try to tell myself that the hours I am racking up in the gym is only adding to this extreme force causing me to crash earlier and earlier every night.  Not sure I totally buy it.  Sleep is important, I suppose, but this need to sleep 8 hours every night night makes me feel old.  My body is finally putting it’s foot down!  Time to rest.

These days off have given me some time to adjust to everything.  Even when I am not working, I am still working at home.  Still putting our new apartment together.  Still settling into this new state of being with a new job, new town, new ward, new gym, new (feels like) everything.  Life is starting to zip by.  Soon I’ll be 40 with kids who can actually talk back to me  and frequently will.  Then their lives will start zipping by too.  Then what will become of me?  60, 70, 80 years always seemed like a really long time to me back when life seemed to take forever.  Every school year I underwent a massive transformation that would evidence in pictures and journal entries.  I looked and felt completely different from year to year.  So much so that  I’d be offended when adults would confuse me for a 6th grader when I was really in the 7th grade or excited when others thought I was in the 8th grade.  But now.  Man.  I went from being 18 to 24 in a matter of minutes.  How did this happen?

It’s not that I don’t enjoy getting older.  I do.  I was always in a hurry to grow up, be more independent, and find my way in life.  For a while it was about maturity.  I wanted to leave hormones and blubbering and teenage dating and horrible age warped social norms behind.  But as I got older, I found that it was more about change.  I have a passion for learning and then living through new eyes.  I guess time is just different to different people.  To me, it’s about knowing more of the world and yourself.  Many things are revealed in time.  So what do we do with it?  I choose to let it pass.

I love my new job.   A lot.  Sometimes I can’t believe I am in this situation.  The dentist I work for has built this dream team of people who are a joy to know and even better to work with every day.  And you know what makes it even better?  My dentist knows what’s what.  After nine years in the tough world of dentistry, he’s still an ideal practice kind of guy.  He stays up to date on everything including hygiene stuff.  He asks me all the time what I learned about such-and-such in school and then reveals what he has been reading or researching.  At a client’s first visit, he does a perio chart.  HE does it.  Holy cow, I work for a dentist who knows how to properly use a probe.  What the heck did I do to deserve a place like that?

Anyway, life is—weird—right now.  As usual.

Bright mind
Bright soul
Passion from before
Loving, losing, living life!
Laughing and
most of all
Lasting

Not Again…

When I was a kid, I was always drawn to unique and interesting people.  I also tended to shy away from pop culture.  Sometimes I’d take it too far and stop liking things just because it had hit a critical status of mayhem.  Exhibit A:  Titanic.  The fans of that movie were so over the top that now it’s almost a joke.  The backlash from the less hysterical crowd was just too much.  Later on, it was more reasonable.  I was just really independent and I liked things because I liked them, not because my friends did or someone told me to.

Exhibit B:  Twilight

This whole Twilight hysteria has me a little uncomfortable.  I love the series.  Meyers is no Jane Austen, but she’s certainly a good story teller and I find a lot of her characters very interesting.  I could do without Bella’s self-esteem issues being constantly rehashed  and exposed, but all in all I really like the books.  I remember during first year of dental hygiene school I read the first book and I told my friend Rachel about it.  She’d never heard of it and looked at me like I was completely crazy when I explained the plot (which is ironic now because she is probably a bigger fan that I am).  At that point, I heard about it through word of mouth and because the writer is LDS.  Needless to say, I was surprised by what happened in just a few short years.

I don’t like being on the “crazy” train.  Especially since that train consists of a lot of super-fans that have suffered some kind of break with reality and many who would maul the actors in their excitement to be within 5 feet of them.  Um ya.  Nuts.  Completely.  It’s up there with people who claim to “live the life” of a Trekker and compose fact sheets on how to get bitten by vampires.  So I can definitely understand how some normal star trek, comic book, renaissance, DND or Battlestar Galactica fans may feel because there are plenty of CRAZY larpers and staulkers to make them look bad.  I say like what you like.  But man…stay away from the crazies.

Bet They Don’t Call You “Squirrelly” Now

Here’s the story.  Around Christmas time my dad was working on some geneology and wikipedia-ed his small hometown of Toledo, IA.  To his surprise, a classmate came up as a “notable native.”  My dad was a year older than him but they were on debate team, student council and even in a few plays together.  He knew him as little Michael Emerson.  (unfortunately my scanner didn’t do very well with the weird textured yearbook pages of the 70’s, but you get the idea)

We know him better as the Emmy Awarding Winning super-villain Benjamin Linus from Lost.

Wonder why my parents didn’t realize it sooner?  They have never watched Lost.

Apparently, my dad was not his favorite person, which is kinda funny if you know my dad (nicest guy around, liked by all).  He once called him “squirrelly Michael Emerson” and it got back to him (small high school).  My dad claims it was meant endearingly, but he clearly didn’t take it that way.  I can see why he might have been a little sensitive on the subject, but who isn’t a little scrawny as a sophomore?

I asked my dad why Emerson was hiding his face.  Apparently, he didn’t like the debate team.  At all.  He was into acting, not debating.  His mom made him stay on the team.  Once, he bragged of eating a whole tube of toothpaste to get out a debate competition.  Now that’s dedication!

I think this picture looks the most like his adult self.  I can’t help but smile.  Benjamin Linus looks so sweet with a tennis racket and a 16 year old grin!

Here’s a few more…His acting debut!

The Madwoman of Chaillot

My dad is on the left.  Note the 70’s style, chunky side burns.  Awesome!

And there is Michael Emerson in rehearsal on the far left.  Well, obviously…considering he’s the only guy in the picture.

He played the Ragpicker.  My dad said he was brilliant.

Androcles and the Lion

There’s Emerson.  Showing more leg than anyone is comfortable with!  And my dad–the Emperor–being assaulted at the robe.  And “Tommy.”

My dad couldn’t remember the story behind this picture… But this was another scene from the one-act play.

The club he actually wanted to be apart of.  The thespian society.  Nice pants!

And last but certainly not least:  Prom.  It’s not a yearbook party if you don’t include those dorky prom pictures!

I promised my cousin MONTHS ago that I would upload these pictures, so here you are Rachel!  I hope you feel better soon!

And to top it all, here’s a short Michael Emerson video from the Jimmy Fallon show!  Pretty darn funny.  For some reason, it wouldn’t let me embed it directly in.

Late Night with Jimmy Fallen

what lies behind us

and what

lies before us

are tiny matters

compared to

what lies

within us

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Best of Both Worlds

We’ve been in Colorado for about a month and a half.  It’s kind of hard to believe!  I am not entirely sure what I have been doing this whole time…but I must have been doing something productive, right?

We LOVE it.  To be honest, I didn’t really missed Colorado that much when I was gone.  But now, I’m pretty sure I have been suppressing some subconscious, inner desire to be near the Rocky Mountains the entire time.  Who knew!

Some of my favorite highlights of the area are:

•  I can drink straight from the tap because the water is great.  Bottled water is a total waste of money and there is no need for a Brita filter.  I definitely appreciate that–I hated those little black things that get loose in the water.  

•  The proximity to my family including my parents, my newest nephew MAX, John, Nina, James, Angelica and Amanda.  Their kids are also pretty high on my list of favorite people on the planet.

•  Dry!  Dry!  Dry!  I am not tormented by bugs or frizzy hair here.   My towel doesn’t get mildewy when it’s on the rack either.

•  Car and rental insurance—totally cheaper!

•  I love seeing Pikes Peak from anywhere in town.  That really makes me feel like I am home.

•  I love the clean air and the altitude (once it stopped assaulting me).  

•  The public libraries here rock.  They must have pretty decent funding.

However, we are certainly missing Washington.  I miss walking along the Spokane River on a weekly basis.  I miss downtown and being 5 minutes away from the temple.  I miss the parks, Sunday dinner with the Mecham’s, playing fetch with Annie and Wrinkles, seeing our friends all the time, and running in the beautiful hills of the Valley.  Oh ya—the view of the Valley from that big hill in Veradale is SO beautiful.  I miss Ryan’s family and siblings and all of our stupid inside jokes.  And I totally miss our gym!  It was so awesome and SO cheap!  We also miss our callings and working with the youth.  I miss teaching at the school and wish there was a way to be here and there at the exact same time.  

I’ve decided the best solution is to compromise.  Spokane–you just need to relocate to Colorado!

I think I’m living with an addict

Yes, that is 6 gallons of apple juice.   It almost looks like this could be some part of our food storage.  Um.  No.  If you know my husband, you know that this is not “that much.”  

In a typical week, I find myself in the grocery store multiple times to replenish Ryan’s juice supply only to find it waning moments later.   And it’s not just that he drinks it all the time, it’s that he drinks so much of it in one sitting!  He can chug a tall, brimming glass that would otherwise make my stomach churn.  It’s some kind of super power!

Facebook Woes

This blog RSS feeds to my facebook page and I received this notification the other day.  

I was honestly offended and completely puzzled for about 30 seconds until I realized…  How much you like something is not an option!

One of the worst

I am a totally fickle/light sleeper.  To be fair, I am way, way, way better than I was as a teenager.  So at least now I can sleep with the light from the alarm clock or from underneath the door.  And the sound of breathing doesn’t keep me up anymore either.

But one of the my biggest problems is the covers.  Having to share them with someone else only makes it worse!  One of the first modifications we made to help this little problem is that our covers go the opposite way they should.  The long side goes across the short side of the matress and vice versa so that we both have plenty.  Genius right?  

Here’s what bugs me though.  It’s the whole tent effect that happens when two people are sharing the same covers.  If you are both laying on your sides and the covers get pulled taught between you, it’s like having El Nino rushing down your back all night.  You might as well not have any covers at all on that side!  Ryan thinks I am nuts (lovingly, I am sure).  

I can’t possibly be the only person who doesn’t like this!

Not much

Man, this is such a weird time in my life.  I haven’t written in a while.  I’m not really sure why.  I’m still in limbo.  Still waiting on my Colorado DH license.  And that’s okay, I guess.  It’s given me a lot of time to think.  A lot of time to get ready, to get re-programed after a pressurized three years of madness.  

But honestly, it’s also been a lot of fun!  I have been completely free to get to know my surroundings again, my friends, my family and the things I enjoy!  I played my guitar almost every other day when we came to Colorado and I thought it was an omen of many guitar days to come.  Nope!  As fulfilling and exciting as that was, the next week I moved on to something else.  It seems like every couple days I totally change wave lengths.   Some days I write a lot.  Some days I work out hard or work on my resume/game plan all day.  I scrapbook, hang out with my little nephew Max and my brother,  spend a considerable amount of time checking out books in the local library.  Nothing terribly exciting or significant!  Just passing time, I suppose.

Some days I see old friends and feel so full from just loving other people in my life.  6 years is the perfect amount of time to come back to old stomping grounds.  It’s short enough that you still remember how you felt about those people, how you used to laugh together or some simple memories of things that you did together.  But, it’s long enough that most (if not all) of the details are gone.  Like inside jokes or how “things” really were.  A lot of the expectations are gone.  The rules have changed.  You don’t have to try to find a frame of reference anymore by recalling who you used to be when you were friends.  It’s just been too long.   I appreciate that a lot.  I love that I can have these friendships again in a completely new way.  

It’s hasn’t all been fun, though.  Many days I feel stressed out and ragged, worried about not working and waiting for my license to arrive.  That’s really my own fault though.  Just my own nerves kicking in!   Plus, I am a do-er.  If I worry about something, I want to do something to fix it.  Well, I am running out of things to do other than just wait!  =)  So, I guess now would be a good time to just learn how to sit still and be patient.  

So I guess I’ll be here!  Hanging out.  Waiting!

Owl Post

        ”Fleur’s words were drowned in a scream.  Hermione was pointing through the kitchen window.  Three black specks were clearly visible in the sky, growing larger all the time.

        ’They’re definitely owls,’ said Ron, hoarsely, jumping up to join Hermione at the window.

        ’And there are three of them,’ said Harry, hastening to her other side.

        One for each of us,’ said Hermione in a terrified whisper.  ‘Oh no . . . oh no . . . oh no . . . ‘  She gripped both Harry and Ron tightly around the elbows.  

        Mrs. Weasley squeezed past them and opened the kitchen window.  One, two, three, the owls soared through it and landed on the table in a neat line.  All three of them lifted their right legs.  Harry moved forward.  The letter addressed to him was tied to the leg of the owl in the middle.  He untied it with fumbling fingers.  To his left, Ron was trying to detach his own results; to his right, Hermione’s hands were shaking so much she was making her whole owl tremble.  

       Nobody in the kitchen spoke.  At last, Harry managed to detach the envelope.  He slit it open quickly and unfolded the parchment inside.

       Ordinary Wizarding Level Results… ” 

–excerpt from Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by J. K. Rowling

 

This small passage caused me a considerable amount of turmoil this past weekend during the road trip.  I was listening to the book on tape, just hoping to stay awake and make the drive seem shorter.   Then, this passage just about knocked me sideways.  The image of Hermione accidentally shaking her owl by the foot was particularly gripping and amusing!  Almost immediately, anxiety and excitement washed through me and I couldn’t stop thinking about my own results that should be arriving by “owl” any day.  I have checked and re-checked and re-re-checked the WREB web page, hoping to see my university on the list of schools who’s scores have been mailed.  This was particularly irritating because I had done such a good job of tricking myself into feeling aloof, distracting myself with my daily to-do lists and keeping myself from obsessing over something that I obviously can’t control.  Well, cats out of the bag.  I am officially tapping my toes.