Man, this is such a weird time in my life. I haven’t written in a while. I’m not really sure why. I’m still in limbo. Still waiting on my Colorado DH license. And that’s okay, I guess. It’s given me a lot of time to think. A lot of time to get ready, to get re-programed after a pressurized three years of madness.
But honestly, it’s also been a lot of fun! I have been completely free to get to know my surroundings again, my friends, my family and the things I enjoy! I played my guitar almost every other day when we came to Colorado and I thought it was an omen of many guitar days to come. Nope! As fulfilling and exciting as that was, the next week I moved on to something else. It seems like every couple days I totally change wave lengths. Some days I write a lot. Some days I work out hard or work on my resume/game plan all day. I scrapbook, hang out with my little nephew Max and my brother, spend a considerable amount of time checking out books in the local library. Nothing terribly exciting or significant! Just passing time, I suppose.
Some days I see old friends and feel so full from just loving other people in my life. 6 years is the perfect amount of time to come back to old stomping grounds. It’s short enough that you still remember how you felt about those people, how you used to laugh together or some simple memories of things that you did together. But, it’s long enough that most (if not all) of the details are gone. Like inside jokes or how “things” really were. A lot of the expectations are gone. The rules have changed. You don’t have to try to find a frame of reference anymore by recalling who you used to be when you were friends. It’s just been too long. I appreciate that a lot. I love that I can have these friendships again in a completely new way.
It’s hasn’t all been fun, though. Many days I feel stressed out and ragged, worried about not working and waiting for my license to arrive. That’s really my own fault though. Just my own nerves kicking in! Plus, I am a do-er. If I worry about something, I want to do something to fix it. Well, I am running out of things to do other than just wait! =) So, I guess now would be a good time to just learn how to sit still and be patient.
So I guess I’ll be here! Hanging out. Waiting!
It sounds like time well-spent. I miss you!